For 6 weeks I took the hormone blocker, Letrozole, hoping and wishing for improvement but actually feeling gradually worse.
Sometimes pain (usually at night) made me worry. Will the tumours grow too big for chemo to shrink them? Will rogue DNA travel from the tumours to affect other organs? Am I worrying enough? Am I worrying too much?
On good days I felt fabulous and made the most of every moment. Most days have been good.
Today at the specialist I learned that my CA125 blood marker has risen to 116, indicating that Letrozole probably isn't working, so more chemotherapy is recommended. I'll probably start on Caelyx in a couple of weeks' time. It is a non-platinum drug, to give me a longer break from the platinum chemo. Also, I may be eligible to join a research trial of Caelyx paired with another agent, Trabectedin. It's a phase 3 trial of a very promising treatment. This means it is safe and has benefited many women before but they just need more evidence before it can be approved by the FDA. I'm still waiting to hear if I qualify.
I feel like I'm in the tumble machine again with the full range of emotions, including
relieved to stop taking ineffectual pills and start on something that works
disappointed that I didn't get longer free time. It's only a year since I finished my last chemo and in the last 6 months I've had symptoms and other treatment including surgery.
grateful for having been well enough to enjoy life and it has been great to feel more settled too. This is the first time I'm contemplating chemo without also wondering where we will live and having to do serious packing and travel
hopeful that I can have the new trial drug. No one says it will be a cure, but I can't help hoping!
wondering how many activities I'll have to cancel as I've got so many plans for the next few months
very sad about a friend who is gravely ill – another ovarian cancer patient. Losing friends to this disease is obviously the greatest downer!
… and more!
This is a brief update while I wade through the paperwork and find out which chemo drugs I'll be having. Then I'll write a bit more about what is happening to me…