Just before surgery

Yesterday Janet and Helen read aloud the guest book entries and recorded them onto my mp3 player. I drifted in and out of sleep but now I have your love there ready anytime I need it. Thank you.

When they drained off all the fluid in my belly to make me comfortable before Christmas it gave them a chance to test for cancer cells. The results came back yesterday and now they know that there is cancer in the fluid which just means that I’ll definitely be having chemo before or after the op. Otherwise no change and at today’s operation I’m expecting to either have all the cancer and various organs cut out, or if they don’t think they can do that successfully when they’ve looked through a laparoscope, then I will go for chemo first and surgery later.

You would think that this would be the time for contemplation of life’s most serious questions but with pain, vomiting and enemas etc I find I’m focusing on the basest bodily functions. It was a pretty rough day yesterday and I was drugged and uncomfortable but I feel much better this morning with some of the pressure relieved and having had a reasonable sleep. I think my surgery is going to be at 9:30am or 10:00am and last for 1½ hours to 6 hours and after that I might be incommunicado for hours and even days, depending on the severity of the operation.

Evan is back from Woodford and I think he had a really good time and so he and Helen, John, Janet and Mum are here looking after me beautifully. xxx

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